I Decided Not to Man Bash

"Sock It to Me, Baby" Gouache on paper. Copyright 2013 Totsymae

“Sock It to Me, Baby” Gouache on paper. Copyright 2013 Totsymae

It just seemed so unfair to group men folk all together on account of one fella not knowing how to fix a vacuum cleaner. But I have to tell you how strange that was ’cause that was a head-scratcher there. I don’t know what sorta raising he got not knowing how to fix a simple machine as that. In other words, a man should enroll in vacuum repair school or something of the sort. I’m starting to wonder if he knows how to use a can opener. I mean, really!

It’s not that I think all men are mechanically inclined. I can spot a man who don’t like getting his hands dirty and that’s real fine if he has money to pay to get what’s broken fixed. I mean, who wants to hear, “Wait ’til I get my money right,” when the car’s sitting on bricks in the driveway? Those are some very unsexy words, fellas. Take those words to your grave, okay?

Now men folk, based on experience, I know women can be unreasonable. We don’t tell you we’re still mad from last year but to be fair, y’all do some real dumb stuff over and over and we get real tired of telling you the same thing. Y’all know good and well you don’t need to keep telling us not to overspend ’cause that’s kinda hard once the adrenaline gets going and we see other women folk with more shopping bags than us. We have to look like we’ve got it going on to some extent, okay? Long as you’re paying the mortgage, you’ll get over it.

One last thing, men folk. You don’t have to make heaps of money. It sure would be nice but all of you don’t come packaged that way. Women fully understand that.

Men folk, it’s not that you have to have the best job but have A job. If you ain’t getting ample pay, ain’t nothing wrong with filling out an application for a second source of income. Take it to your woman, she’ll fill the thing out for you even. That’s what I call a supportive woman, okay?

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