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July 29, 2013

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Woman in the Mirror

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Talking Body Parts

"Untitled" Digital Art / Copyright 2013 Totsymae

“Untitled” Digital Art / Copyright 2013 Totsymae

I know you don’t care to know this, so you can stop reading if you want. I simply have a need to express myself. Plus, this is what a blog’s for, so you may wanna go ahead and finish this ride with me. After all, that’s why you clicked the title in your in box. But you’re getting me side-tracked, which is real easy to do ’cause I’m trying to get my mind off my aching feet.

You see, I worked at home for nearly a year and sat down all day long. Working solo, I got on my nerves so bad and became real tired of having conversations with myself at the water cooler. I’d get to talking about myself to myself and then go back and say something else. You know, being a backstabber. It got real heated for a minute but it couldn’t get physical or anything like that. I mean, I’d be blogging from the room of a padded wall if that was the case.

Anyhow, I had to get out among folk and being that I was unaccustomed to being on my feet, these dogs of mine are wondering what the heck is going on and asking why I didn’t consult. Even had the audacity to slap me with the extra weight it had to hold up on account of me eating so much, with the refrigerator being so accessible and all. I was like, “You just gonna have to get used to it! If you’d’ve kept me walking around the neighborhood, you wouldn’t be hurting so bad. And why you wearing sandals anyhow? Out here trying to look cute, huh…You need a pedicure.”

After this back and forth action, Feet reminded me to sit my tail down ’cause no weight was coming off with us standing there arguing with each other. Well, I sat on down and I figure with my hands moving across this keyboard and me thinking so hard about what to say on this blog was probably the most exercise I’d get today. After all, I can’t have Feet complaining and throbbing and whatnot.

Dear folks, what body parts are talking to you lately?

24 thoughts on “Talking Body Parts”

  1. I amazes me how women seem to have the nac for control Thanks dear it worked out great… Will ever touch in away we both know? you owe me a kiss…

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  4. Oh, I mean oh spit and shine you do not really want me to answer this question, not really; right?

    I work from home half the time. I figured out the smart thing, don’t keep food in the house. Which does not stop my azz from spreading but then I had to figure out other things to force myself to move, like keeping the coffee pot downstairs and my office upstairs. I walk stairs a great deal keeping my coffee cup filled up. As for that talking to adults, well I find my clients keep me semi amused, after some time with them I can’t wait to get back to my office alone. People aren’t all that.

    I hear you though.

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    • I don’t know how you do it. Then again, I’ve done it before but had flexibility. This last time, I had none, so it was getting to me. I’d be so happy to just go to the gas station. But yeah, folk aren’t all that. It all gets old.

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  5. Working from home occasionally is great. But like you, I need some people around me.

    My husband, an introvert works from home. You know all those times you grumble to a colleague all day? John saves them up for me the minute I cross the, threshold. I’m thinking of getting an inflatable me so he can bitch to here and leave me out of it!

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  6. Every once and awhile it occurs to me that it’s been DAYS since I’ve been outside (even to take out the garbage). My low back gets to me too, from sitting in one place for too long. I’ve found that if I sit in the lounger with my feet elevated and my computer in my lap the hours go by without me even noticing. ooops.

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  9. Hi, Totsy. I think the law of attraction has brought you to me. Sorry about the feet. Good call with the Lazy Boy. My favorite place to blog, next to bed. Main thing is to keep those puppies elevated, girl. Have you tried soaking them? Maybe search “Natural Diuretics.” I know if I eat rhubard I am guaranteed to pee every thirty minutes all day. Weird. But maybe frequent bathroom trips is not the best approach if you don’t want to be on your feet. How about a foot rub?

    So I should introduce myself. My name is Heidi, or Mrs. R., or mom, or in the summer I go by Mermaid. I love reading your pieces, and think we could become fast friends. Started this blog back in June, not knowing what the heck I was doing. Found Simplesite and have poured my summer into this. Wanting to transfer my writing to WordPress. I am wanting readers and feedback that the other forum can’t provide me. So, I’m back to trying this again. And thanks to you, my catalyst, I do believe I will do it.

    As for body parts. Don’t enlist in recreational eating. No pie contests and such. I do love to swim and hike in the summer. So I am sore this week having bitten off too much. But I do have a question for you. You won’t have to get up for this one. Just listen.

    I was wondering if I read something about you working in the health industry, or studying at medical school besides being a great writer. Am I thinking of you, or just halucinating?
    If you do have sore feet from hours and hours of health care feet, then maybe you can help. Back to diuretics. There is a little boy coming into 4th grade with significant renal problems. It impacts his learning and inhibits an more normal happy school experience. He often exibits anxiety and clouded thinking. I am a bit familiar with a Utah scholar, goes by Don Tolman, the Organic Cowboy. Read that eating kidney beans helps. I thought diuretics. Hate to bother you. But maybe you are just the person to send me in a direction.

    Mermaid

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    • No, you were hallucinating. I was. I’m not going to medical school. My stomach’s much to weak and I can’t stand the sight of blood. Matter of fact, I don’t like looking at sick folk at all, else I’ll start feeling sick myself.

      As for the feet issue, and recreational eating as you call it, I’m feeling better but the eating part is a work in progress. I may need to take my own advice to Monica and invest in a box of duct tape. Not a pretty public look but desperate times calls for desperate measures.

      I’m so pleased you like the blog and all. It’s a real pleasure to hear that. I do declare, I’m feeling stuffed right now. I’d best take a small nap. 🙂

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  10. Tots, for me it’s my stomach. It’s constantly telling me it’s too full, and yet I keep feeding it more! I’m sick of it, but we keep this up. Where will it end??? Me thinks you’ve hit a nerve, girl!

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    • Be comforted that you’re not alone. Millions of folk are in this club. My only advice, though unconventional, is to invest in a box of duct tape. You only want to use this in the confines of your home, however. Turn all mirrors backwards so you won’t have to walk past any to remind yourself this is what it’s come down to. Try for one week between meals. I guarantee your tummy will stop these unwanted conversations. 🙂

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  12. I love it! I work from home often and notice when I don’t take my ‘water pill’ and eat cheese in my grits the fingers swell later in the afternoon. But, I’ve recently taking up speed walking to accompany ‘a diet plan’ and I have muscles in my legs and arms wondering why I woke them up. My knees give me a holler from time-to-time. So, yes the body parts will get at you sometimes.

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