The Things They Say

"Yack" Watercolor on paper. Copyright 2013 Totsymae (

“Yack” Watercolor on paper. Copyright 2013 

After tomorrow, I have time all to myself. I’ve been looking in the mirror, asking Myself, “So whatchu gonna do?” and Myself hasn’t answered back yet. I don’t know what her plans are for me but I’ve got a real strong feeling she’ll have me working in the yard. She sorta mentioned it already but knowing that I ignored her, she’s singing a cut the grass song, so it’s ringing in my head.

Now, Myself knows good and well I can’t be on my feet all day in nobody’s yard, even if it is my own. She did say I can soak my feet afterwards but she didn’t have to tell me that. Feet hollers loud enough to let me know. Okay?

Myself has a way of making me do things I ain’t rightly up to doing. She’s had me working so hard at times, Feet, Legs, Thighs and all them get to telling me to sit down. Myself keeps pushing it though ’cause she gets all bothered when she’s in the mood to do stuff and I tell her to stop. Said if it was left to me, I’d be eating Sorbet or some other whatnot all day and raised Eyebrow up at me, asking what the devil was wrong with me anyhow. Well, I couldn’t rightly respond with any kinda intelligence, so I kept right on working ’til the mission was accomplished.

You should’ve heard Feet, Legs, Thighs, and even Hips joined in, giving me the business. Talking about they were gonna wait three days ‘fore they settled in and start hurting me on account of me not giving them no rest. True to their word, they did exactly what they said they’d do. All I could do was sit there and take it. Lips told Tongue to cluck against Teeth when Eyes acted like they wanted to cry. Myself rolled Neck and said, “Lordy mercy, ain’t this about nothing…”


13 thoughts on “The Things They Say

  1. Myself got in the mood to wash windows last weekend. Bad thing about those pretty sparkling windows is they really let in the light to show off the other things Myself did NOT clean.

    We’re going to have to make some compromises this weekend, that’s for sure.


  2. Like this, cause myself talks to me too. Sometimes myself can be stronger than me. Myself is not the only one talking to me, cookies on the stores shelves jump up at me and say hey, I’m here you know you want me.

    I stop and look and say to cookies, u r not any good for me I’m not messing with you and they say I’m good with some milk. Sometimes I tell them to go to hell and sometimes I say come on get your ass in this buggy.

    After I eat them myself says uh hum, u stand yourself now. I try to reason with myself, but myself has no time for reasoning. So, I say it’s done now. So shut the fuck up. Will do better next time.


  3. I don’t have to look in a mirror to find chores. My wife does a fine job of filling in the day’s schedule all on her own. I love it when she says “we” have to replant that Rhododendron to the other flower bed. We is me! She knows it. I know it, but she continues to use the plural.


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