Dear Robin


Do you realize Dr Phil’s been on the air for about 10 years now? That’s good for him making all that money and whatnot but that says a whole lot about folk out here in this world. They’re messed up in the head and narcissistic about it.

And with Dr Phil being on the air that long, well, I reckon that chair Robin sits in is mighty special and auction-worthy. That’s 10 whole years and counting of the same behind sitting in the same seat for a what? Sideline celebrity. Okay, I admit I’m hating a tad ’cause I watch the Dr on the regular and I’ve been wanting to uproot Robin outta that seat. Not that I want the Dr, ’cause I don’t, I don’t reckon, but I want to go to that studio over in Cali one of these days and with me wanting to occupy a reserved seat, I see a potential problem. Not for me, particularly but for Robin. I’m real sure she hasn’t been confronted with this kind of challenge. Well, there’s a first time for darn near everything, ain’t it?

I figure my first approach to the chair is to act like nobody’s sitting there. If that fails, which I’m sure it will, I’ll  get to the studio early and put a chair in the rear, where no cameras are, with her name on it. Maybe the Dr can highlight me and ask how to draw a perfect circle instead of asking Robin stuff she acts like she knows about.

I’m real sorry to interrupt your broadcast, Robin but I think it’s downright critical that the show spotlights how to draw basic shapes on occasion. After all, you ain’t talking about nothing the world needs to know. As a woman myself, I clearly understand why you’re there but I’d appreciate you more if you answered the phones. Better yet, you’d be doing me a real favor to be a good hostess and pass out some cookies and milk while I teach those who tune in how to make a happy face while you sit in the back somewhere.