The Path to Being a Vibrant, Healthy Woman

"Beach Hat: Violet" Copyright 2014 Totsymae

“Beach Hat: Violet” Copyright 2014 Totsymae

Over the past coupla weeks or so, I’ve heard some very disturbing news about women. Not me but you. I mean, I’m a woman and all but since I don’t fall in this category, I feel duty-bound to help you out. I hope you don’t mind. I’d want somebody to reach out to me if…Let’s get right to it to get you the help you need.

Women, so studies say, are taking more sleeping pills than anybody. Over 60%. I’m prepared to offer you an alternative, okay? If you’re on the high-strung end, and you know who you are, try jogging around the block in your neighborhood before bedtime. If there are loose dogs in the area and you’re not, per se, a dog-type person like myself, that should make you run even faster.

You may have to utilize some untapped skills or what you learned from childhood, like climbing a tree or do what they do in horror movies. For example, haul it home fast as you can but before you get there, fall, lose a shoe and say, “I can’t go on.” I will advise that it’s best you go on ’cause you’ll be alone and won’t nobody give a damn more than you, okay?

If you find that you can, make it to the door, try sticking the key in, drop it, not once but several times ’til the dog gets closer and closer. You may wanna try this as a mental exercise rather than actually doing it. I don’t know about you but just thinking about being in that situation has exhausted me. Should you decide to go on a trial run to see if this activity will wind you down in the evenings, keep in mind that those rottweilers don’t play and you don’t wanna get yourself chewed up or anything of that nature.

I also understand women folk are depressed more than men. ‘Cause of our body make-up, women internalize. We just take in so much and even create unreal imaginings that men have no idea about. They’re just so aloof, aren’t they?

Men folk, on the other hand, externalize. Therefore, we’ve got feelings they can’t begin to comprehend. Oh, they put on a good show like they’re sensitive and all but they really aren’t. They’re only appeasing you ’cause new agers are telling them all will be right with the universe if they do. Don’t believe the hype, folks but neither should you put too much focus on this part of the post ’cause I don’t want you losing more sleep than you already have or start giving the significant other the side eye.

This has been a public service announcement for women’s health on behalf of Women’s History Month. Keeping it real and light for the better good of human sanity.

18 thoughts on “The Path to Being a Vibrant, Healthy Woman

  1. Maybe I am tired (24 hrs work day), but Ms Violet looks like she’s taking care of a wedgie ha 🙂
    Good read my dear….and yes someone always loses a shoe and falls down!



  2. I sleep just fine with my husband and my two big pit bulls. I never worry for a minute about anything. I don’t go out at night without my dogs, but my dogs and I are fine in any neighborhood. Zoe and Harry scare a lot of people, but they are actually nice, well behaved, and obedient dogs. They just look like killers.


  3. I’m tired, and thinking about that dog definitely wore me out. I don’t take the pills either. I have been known to have a chamomile tea, or a glass of wine, or a shot of whisky before bed though. In fact that sounds like a good idea, much more pleasant than that rottwieller. cheers.


  4. This is is a funny post. I am glad I came up on it. I don’t take sleeping pills. I don’t like dogs and I can’t run. But I enjoyed reading this. Thanks for the laugh.


  5. I used to be a runner. I’ve been sidelined by injury after injury after injury. So I have tried other things: jazzercise and cycling. They help calm my mind before bed. But sometimes that doesn’t work. I have tried tryptophan on the recommendation of my naturopath. It has helped tremendously. But the unfortunate reality is sometimes I’m awake for hours because my mind won’t shut off.


    • Maybe try the Sleepy Time Tea and there’s also Hibiscus and Chamomile. When I used to get acupuncture, I always slept well after those sessions. That may be a good, healthy alternative.


      • Probably TMI: I can’t drink chamomile based teas before bed. I run to the bathroom constantly and it does more harm than good. I have a crazy fear of needles and I’m reluctant to try acupuncture after I attempted it once in 2009.


        • Oh…wow…you’re between two rock and a hard place. I wish I had another alternative to suggest. It’s a real booger to not be able to sleep. Maybe put lavender on your pillow? I hear it works well for babies. Also, use dark sheets ’cause I understand they’re better for relaxing. That’s pretty much all I have.


    • I’ve been a tad fidgety at night, now that I’ve written this post. I just be darn, I should’ve kept my mouth closed. I’ll have to try reading tonight with a cuppa tea. I’m not with taking my own advice about letting a dog chase me. Heck, that could land me in ER.


  6. I use to run, then I was hurt and can’t run. Sad really, liked running. Now I am starting to walk again, no loose dogs around though. Dropping keys? No, have one of those electronic entrances, think it is because of all that travel I do, just seemed easier.

    I only sleep around 5 hours a night, but don’t need help doing it. Not yet anyways.

    Love the painting, the colors would be wonderful in my new room.


    • Try walking, Much better on the knees. Shouldn’t be a problem with you getting in with that electric door and all. I hope it closes fast so as not to let the dogs in behind you.

      Seems like I’m surviving on about that many hours of sleep as of last night. Glad you like the painting. She’s almost as sexy as Beatrice.


  7. You know the saying – bear, dog, what-have-you. You don’t have to run faster than the thing that’s chasing you – only faster than your slowest friend. I think that’s the REAL reason runners want a jogging buddy. Love you & sleep well.


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