Talking Body Parts

"Untitled" Digital Art / Copyright 2013 Totsymae

“Untitled” Digital Art / Copyright 2013 Totsymae

I know you don’t care to know this, so you can stop reading if you want. I simply have a need to express myself. Plus, this is what a blog’s for, so you may wanna go ahead and finish this ride with me. After all, that’s why you clicked the title in your in box. But you’re getting me side-tracked, which is real easy to do ’cause I’m trying to get my mind off my aching feet.

You see, I worked at home for nearly a year and sat down all day long. Working solo, I got on my nerves so bad and became real tired of having conversations with myself at the water cooler. I’d get to talking about myself to myself and then go back and say something else. You know, being a backstabber. It got real heated for a minute but it couldn’t get physical or anything like that. I mean, I’d be blogging from the room of a padded wall if that was the case.

Anyhow, I had to get out among folk and being that I was unaccustomed to being on my feet, these dogs of mine are wondering what the heck is going on and asking why I didn’t consult. Even had the audacity to slap me with the extra weight it had to hold up on account of me eating so much, with the refrigerator being so accessible and all. I was like, “You just gonna have to get used to it! If you’d’ve kept me walking around the neighborhood, you wouldn’t be hurting so bad. And why you wearing sandals anyhow? Out here trying to look cute, huh…You need a pedicure.”

After this back and forth action, Feet reminded me to sit my tail down ’cause no weight was coming off with us standing there arguing with each other. Well, I sat on down and I figure with my hands moving across this keyboard and me thinking so hard about what to say on this blog was probably the most exercise I’d get today. After all, I can’t have Feet complaining and throbbing and whatnot.

Dear folks, what body parts are talking to you lately?

Self-Obsessed aka Facebook

Image Manipulation in Photoshop by Totsymae

“Anthony Weiner” Image Manipulation in Photoshop by Totsymae

7:30 am – I cut the grass. And yes, you do care. Like this status and win a ticket to your house.

9:00 am – Took a shower and sat on the sofa in a daze from cutting all that grass.

10:00 am – I’ve decided I really don’t like Facebook. Why do folk plan their days around it anyway?

11:00 am – Juiced a buncha carrots and some other vegetables. Boy, was it nasty…Why is it not okay to grab some leaves off a tree and snack on them with Picante Sauce?

12:30 pm – The summer art project with the homeschoolers is almost a wrap.

3:00 pm – Every time I turn around, I’m hungry. This is really getting on my nerves.

3:30 pm – I could really go for that vanilla ice cream and graham crackers in the kitchen. Been thinking about it for three whole days. Ridiculous…

4:30 pm – My inner chunky girl wants the carbs, not me. I’m like, so above that…Aren’t I?

8:30 pm – I wonder who could clean my studio on the cheap…I’m retiring Facebook, btw.

10:00 pm – I just love that broccoli soup from Publix…Okay, no more talk about food.

11:30 pm – Okay, I’m hungry again and I don’t think tree leaves and Picante Sauce are gonna cut it…If I was sleep, I wouldn’t even know I was hungry.

12:00 am – I have a cure for everything but how to shut up.

No, these were not real statuses on Facebook or anywhere. Dear Readers, do you obsess with social media? Can you go one week without it?

Hanging in There

Manga Anime Studio and Photoshop Illustration. Copyright 2013 Totsymae

Manga Anime Studio and Photoshop Illustration. Copyright 2013 Totsymae

OMG, folks! I have just been feeling awful. Simply awful (Back of the wrist touches the forehead while flopping to the Lazy Boy).  Though, I’ll spare you and not go into it. I know you wanna know and if I felt any better and wanted your sympathy, I’d not spare you the details. But I’m still feeling like I’ve got water in my ears, so I don’t know how loud or low I may sound to you. Can you even hear me?

I was feeling well enough to shop for two days, however. Maybe that’s what brought this Southern Belle to a dramatic end. Why, I was just at the store a spell ago and I thought I’d faint. That I’d go SPLAT! right in the middle of the 20 Items or Less Checkout. I was feeling all hot and whatnot. I don’t know if it was on account of me thinking of my milkshake I’d left in the car that I was in a hurry to get  back to but I do declare folks, I felt downright better once I drowned my face in it. I’m sure it would’ve been an awful sight had I looked in the mirror but I didn’t want to bring that kinda shame on myself.  Oh, don’t act like it’s just me who’s ever done this…I wonder if I’d be pushing my luck if I went for another milkshake being that I’m lactose intolerant and whatnot. Thing sure was good.

What makes you sick that you can’t get enough of? Your wife…hubby? Tell ole Totsy. Your secret’s safe with me (wink, wink).

Those Were the Days

"Tell Momma the Truth" Acrylic on paper. Copyright 2013 Totsymae

“Tell Momma the Truth” Acrylic on paper. Copyright 2013 Totsymae

When I was in elementary, I used to spend a good portion of my time in the principal’s office. I don’t rightly know why. I was so cute. In addition to that, when I was in primary school, teachers were allowed to spank. Thus, also, a good deal of my time was spent lying over my teacher’s lap with a paddle to my bottom or my hand burning from the sting of rulers that had been taped together. I wasn’t what you’d call a bad child. It was just that then, folk whipped us younguns for the slightest misbehavior. I always say, if you can’t be a kid getting into a little mischief, then what’s the point of being at kid at all. I had some devilish fun back then.

There used to be a game called Hide and Go Get, the dirty version of Hide and Seek. It was supposed to be that the guy who found the girl who was hiding would end up getting a kiss but me? I was never found by the guy I wanted to get the kiss from. In my hiding spot, I’d look up and some ole mojo face looking fella would find me and I’d run like the deacons so I’d not have to kiss him. As you can see, that game didn’t work out too well for me.

Another game we’d play, which did work out pretty good, was opening a big box on both ends and rolling down a hill inside of it with a fella. Ooooh, how I loved that game! Just a fresh little thing, I was. When I look back, they seem like innocent games.

My, how times have changed. Now, folk can’t spank their kids, which is probably not the worst thing. Folk spank ’cause it’s the only way they know how to discipline. I remember my great-grandmother could talk to me in the most sweetest tone and whip me with a dose of common sense that I wasn’t displaying at the time of trouble and it would make me feel worse than any whipping I could’ve gotten. I did the right thing for longer periods of time than when I got a switch laid across me. But again, I wasn’t a bad child, just a little mischievous on occasion.

And since I brought it up, do you think there’s sucha thing as bad children? If not, what do you call  them?

Changing Tunes

I’m getting to a different place with this blog. At least, for now. I have even pondered the idea of discontinuing the blog. I’m just not sure where I am with that yet. As of now, however, I do need a time out to deliberate and reflect on what the outcome may be. In due time, I shall either change directions or delete the blog.

Thank you so very much for hanging out with me all this time. Will see you later, folks.