On Being Drama-Free

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I don’t know about you but Drama is not my middle name. Now, I do believe as long as there’s breath in you, you’re gonna have it on some level. How you handle it can escalate or quell the stress and longevity of it. I don’t care if you’re 25 or 75, you’re gonna have your share of drama. You may even be an inventor of it, or the stirrer, or kinda on the slick side in starting it. I tell you though, some of the most theatrical folk will swear to your grave, they are at peace with the universe and in a good space and all this other new age whatnot. Whatever.

If you’re, say 75, down with sickness and whatnot, unfortunately, that’s a level of drama. It may be ’cause you didn’t take care of yourself for 50 years, so in a so to speak sorta way, you brought some drama on yourself. Your head is all wrapped up in the sickness of your body and every time you’re on the phone with somebody, you’re talking about what you ate, this and that ache and what the doctor told you. Understand too, you can take real good care of your body and stuff just breaks down anyhow. It’s life. It happens. So be it.

You can also be a drama stirrer. I can’t rightly name a specific occasion where I’ve been the stirrer but I will say I’ve been an inventor on some level. I mean, if you’re gonna be involved in anything, there’s nothing like getting in on the ground floor of opportunity. I’m just taking responsibility for my role, okay? I can’t rightly say that’s where I am now. It’s not my nature anyhow. I’m just so cool, know what I mean? I could be going through the roughest time and you’d never get an invitation to know ’cause it’s really not your business. You feel me?

I’m amazed and quite baffled at the level of drama senior folk keep up. I had a senior friend awhile back go through a divorce at 65. I asked her, “Y’all sure y’all can’t work that out?” “Naw,” she told me. You see, she’d married the husband a second time and he wanted somebody else. Ended up moving to Alabama and living with a woman he still couldn’t find happy with. Now, my friend’s around 75 and single. Just out there in a pool of senior men folk who don’t drive at night, talking about bowel movements and going on walks for dates. Something she can still complain about if she’s in the market to get hitched again. You’d be surprised to learn how many women are single and looking at that age. I imagine the competition is stiff and still not quite drama-free. That’s life now. It’s happening. So it is.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Freshly Fabulous

Beatrice from Apartment 7B

Beatrice from Apartment 7B

Good day, people. I’m here on the beach because I had a photo shoot, which I wanted to share. While some of you are working, and do count your blessings that you’re able, I’m going to enjoy kicking up sand for you and me, okay? I don’t mind at all. Anything leisure I can do on your behalf, put it in the comment box below.

After leaving the beach, I have a shopping appointment with my stylist. That would be Totsy (rolling eyes). My agent, you know, the one I got off Craig’s List, has booked me for an audition on The Real Housewives of Atlanta. I am way past prepared to act a fool. You hear me? I’d be a Real Housewife any day than be Tori Spelling.

Tori, you’re going through some really awful stuff! I feel sorry for you and I NEVER feel sorry for rich people. Girl, you are so miserable in your marriage. In your life. However will you resolve this? I hope that show you and Jenny Garth have coming this summer is a success. That would be a good distraction for you. You NEED a distraction. Plus, I really like Jenny. Now, what I’d like to ask, Tori, because I’m quite perplexed…That time you were being filmed by the paparazzi and you were yelling for them to get the cameras off of you, what’s up with that? Can you spell reality show?

Yes, Dean cheated on you. It happens to a lot of women, girl. You, unfortunately, weren’t exempt from a husband’s infidelity. Now, my sources tell me the two of you got together while he was married to his former wife, which confuses me even more. What went around recycled back to you. Stop it with all of this devastation on the TV screen. What I feel sorry for is that you don’t get what I get and I don’t think you ever will.

Verily, verily I say unto you, people, don’t give what you can’t take. As always, I have enjoyed our visitation but I must, as we say in the south, get the mule out of the corn. While I look ravishing in this swimwear, it is crawling into some undesirable places all on its own, okay?

 

Divaliciously Yours,

Beatrice from Apartment 7B

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Family: You Can’t Choose Them

"Family" Mixed Media on Paper / Copyright 2013 Totsymae

“Self-Portait” Mixed Media on Paper / Copyright 2013 Totsymae

Do you ever wish some folk weren’t in your family? Would you not go to a dog fight with some of them? That’s unfortunate to say but just like I’m saying it about them, they probably feel the same about me. I’m not sure why, other than the fact that I don’t attend dog fights. I mean, I’m so cool and low maintenance and whatnot. I simply don’t function well or thrive among toxic folk. I eat my vegetables and drink at least 6 glasses of water a day. Therefore, I’m not prone to such whatnots.

Matter of fact, when family drama occurs, I’m pretty much on the bench. I don’t have to be a player. There was one time, however, that I had to write a very direct letter after a family function went south. Trust me, it was best to send this message via email on account that nobody was listening.

Now, I like folk in general but have you ever thought about some family members and just knew that if they weren’t in your bloodline, you’d have nothing to do with them? It’s sad to say but the truth will set you free. Though, for these particular folk, it’s quite okay to love them from a distance. From another country, or planet, once you get your rocket ship and space gear, that is. I reckon only the wealthiest of folk will have this kinda luxury. They won’t even have to be bothered with getting a cell phone call while they’re in space. Can you imagine the phone bill?

On the other hand, you may have a perfectly functional family who has regular sleepovers and call a loved one every time you think of them to say you were thinking of them ’cause you don’t take for granted they’ll be there for you to make that call tomorrow.