Striking A Pose: Trailer 2.0

I’m slowly but surely pulling it all together with Beatrice. I finally came to a point of getting her to look how I and she wanna look, so we’re gonna do this thing with some sass and class, folks. Prior to premiering the comic strip this summer, I hope to be able to share other starring cast members, if time allows. I’ll make guest appearances. I think. I’m not real decisive about that. Maybe I’ll steal one of your pics to make you a part of the strip…Now that I say it, that sounds like a winner to me. Hmmm…who shall be the unlucky blogger picked for this….

In the meantime, in preparing Beatrice for the big stage, she had a photo shoot done. You can say this is the second trailer for the strip, only with different pictures. I kinda knew but didn’t know the extent of work needed for this type of project. Being this is my first comic strip ever, I’m deliberating on whether to show it in the traditional format or the way I did the trailer. It’s all experimental, so I may try both. Maybe you can let me know what works best. I’d be curious to hear your thoughts.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Beyonce, Gaga and Wendy…Let’s Talk

Copyright 2014 Totsymae

Copyright 2014 Totsymae

Don’t hate that I don’t dream of a white Christmas but The Bea is dreaming of Johnny Depp. It’s the only way I could pull this advertisement off. A girl has to do what a girl has to do, okay? I love this man and if there was a telepathic signal between us, he’d love all this lusciousness too. But on with the scoop.

People, are you at all surprised Beyonce’s photoshopping herself? I didn’t know you had that kind of time, B. With all of these contracts and engagements you have to fulfill for the Illuminati, who knew. You’ve got yourself some skills, girl. I can’t deny you that. And a little more self-obsessed than I gave you credit for. It’s hard for anybody to get their foot in the door. Namely, me. You are truly a girl who won’t be interrupted, even after birthing a child. You’ve done everything besides advertise toilet paper and tooth picks.

Gaga, can we talk? Why are people vomiting on you on stage? That has nothing to do with art and everything to do with desperation. Or maybe mental illness. I don’t know what you’re going through other than to say Hollywood is probably kicking your behind for you to deliver that as art to your audience. You’re gross, okay? Just do what Miley’s doing and take your clothes off. But oh, you have to be so different.

And Wendy Williams. Girrrrrrl. What’s with your husband in the store buying another woman shoes? Baby, you’re in the wrong business at this point in time of your life. You need to step aside and let The Bea ride this gravy train, okay? To the left, girlfriend. Had I known hubby enjoyed shoe shopping, I’d have emailed him my shoe and dress size, because I know he outfitted that woman. Though, shopping is all he can do for me, alright? I do not want you coming at me, Mrs. Wendy. I’m a big girl but you’re even bigger. Matter of fact, I take back what I said. Forget I mentioned any of this, okay?

Well people, I shall not keep you any longer because you’re getting no younger, unlike myself, alright? Besides, I have a continuation dream to conclude of Johnny. Ahhhhh…

 

Keeping You In the Know,

Beatrice from Apartment 7B

 

 

 

Where, Oh Where, Has Halle’s Man Gone?

Beatrice's Diva's Wall © Totsymae 2014

Beatrice’s Diva Wall © Totsymae 2014

Bonjour, lovelies. If you’re not enjoying spring, have a fling with life. Get off the couch, being a slouch and live. I realize I’ve a lot to say but that’s my job. Volunteer or otherwise, I take blowing hot air into the universe very seriously. Amen. Where, oh where is a good piece of gossip when you need it? Just call 1-800-The-Bea, alright?

What am I juiced up with this fine day? Halle. There’s only one and girl, you know I’d have to get around to you sooner and not too much later. Look Halle Baby, I mean Berry, what exactly is going on with you? I’m beginning to believe, exterior beauty aside, something is deeply and darkly wrong with your not being able to keep a man. They are fleeing all over the place. I’m not making fun. Not at all. My utmost concern is for the children. If you need to call me, I’ll install a therapeutic line specifically for you, girlfriend. It’s all good because I’ll accept PayPal and Bill Me Later, alright? I’m all about making it convenient to collect that ching, ching. Don’t get it twisted. High five…

And no, Barbara Walters, I didn’t forget about you either. You’re the priestess of journalism but I have to say, we, the public, are so okay with you leaving. We won’t cry. I’m not sure why you felt the need to announce your retirement a year early. Who does that? We don’t care as much as you think but we’ve enjoyed you. Yay, yay. Congratulations but bye, girl. I’m gunning for your seat on The View. Speaking of the show, Jenny, are you trying to look studious with those glasses? Get the contacts, girl. You’re doing too much. While you may be smart, we really don’t care. If you were covering the evening news, I’d give you a pass but being on The View, I feel it’s necessary to stop you at the door, okay?

Siiiiiigh. I’m out of breath and bursting at the seams, people. I mean, literally. This dress I purchased from Target is smaller than I thought. After eating two Dunkin Donuts, that is. I do declare, what’s a girl to wear to look fashionable these days. I could install a third line to call myself at 1-800-Too-Fine-To-Fit but I’m real okay with that. You feel me? And so, I shall leave you with that sexy image of me in your head because enough has been said, alright?

 

So Utterly Delicious,

Beatrice from Apartment 7B