The Wild, Wild South

"You Want This" Watercolor/Ink on paper. Copyright 2014 Totsymae

“You Want This” Watercolor/Ink on paper. Copyright 2014 Totsymae

It’s getting crazy down here, folks. Not only is it about to get hot down south but on July 1st, folk will be able to carry a gun anywhere they want. To school. The grocery store. To church. You name it, we can take it.

In addition, where I’m at, we’ve long time had a Stand Your Ground law in place. You know what that means. Sitting right above Florida, with George Zimmerman stalking about, there’re gonna be some gun-toting fools around here just like him.

You see, our governor is for death, not life. He rejected legalizing medical marijuana for children who have multiple seizures per day. Put a big, red X on the bill the very day those parents were begging and begging for their children to have some quality of life. And you know what happened today? A husband cut the fool ’cause his wife filed for divorce Monday. He wasn’t having no wife of his upping and leaving his fool self, so he saw fit to load up and go after her. She’s the Assistant D.A., okay? Know what happened next? He took a gun to himself, like his twin spirit did the other day.

Do understand, if you’ve got an ounce of sense, you can pretend you’ve got two and get a gun permit. What’s gonna happen on Black Friday? Or when that road-rager is bumped in traffic on a day he’s just been fired? Or when I’m cleaning house and turn up the volume on my stereo ’cause I’m so happy…

Standing Ground to Keep the One You Love

Copyright 2014 Totsymae

Copyright 2014 Totsymae

Folks, today, I’m  gonna report the news on what’s happening down south. Picture this. Me on your TV screen talking  just like this, reporting the 6:00 news…

On Monday, a man was all broken up ’cause his woman left him. His time had expired in her life and she was moving down a different road without him. He wasn’t doing right and she wasn’t having it, more than likely. Folks, he was too through about this. I mean he was so through, he put it in his mind to follow her to the mall and have it out with her. Oh yeah, he was gonna cut the fool like he’d never done before, you hear me?

Well, she’d just done her shopping and what have you and heading to her car. His no count self approached her and got to yelling and whatnot. Just raising all kindsa hell. Folks were looking all around and next thing you know, a POW POW POW shot into the air and landed in that woman’s body. It was an awful sight, witnesses say, but all they could do was call 911.

This fool-cutter, we’ll now call him, who did the shooting, left like not a darn thing had ever happened. Got in his ride and drove away like any other day. You hear me?

To conclude this unfortunate story, the woman fought real hard but not too long ’cause she passed on yesterday. I’m real sure she left loved ones behind. And it so happens this fella did too. You see, he went to an even darker place inside himself. Had all them swirling emotions riding his tail and it was all, way too much. He drove to a spot, where nobody was around to intercept ending his life in peace. Now, folks wanna know why he didn’t do that before he shot that woman. And folk ponder that every time a story like this happens, which happens real often, you know.

True story, folks. Happened the other day.

 

 

 

 

Murder, She Wrote

Maxine looked out her window at the neighborhood from her second floor, blowing halos of smoke from those dark lips and lactating while the baby lay screaming in the crib. The perfect life of birthing a child and marrying Sammy hadn’t come together after all. Never had she figured he’d lay dead by her hands for wanting to leave. Sure did wish the child would cease all that hollering. She finished out the last of her smoke and pushed back from the window opening. Darn near tripped over Sammy, blood still warm, when she lifted the baby to feed it.

Copyright 2014 Totsymae

Blunt Tales from the South (No. 1): Love, Marriage and Contemplating Murder

"Mama's Weary" Acrylic on paper. Copyright 2013 Totsymae

“Mama’s Weary” Acrylic on paper. Copyright 2013 Totsymae

Myrna’s heels were worn down from walking in her own kitchen, feeding her husband who’d grown old and solid in weight. Day in and day out, she whipped up meals according to his taste buds but she often had a mind to poison him. While he sat and seemed helpless enough sitting on two bone-rotted hips, he talked too much. Sometimes, he’d ring a bell to be served a glass of water or holler out some command while she was watching her soap operas. Myrna simply loathed the idea of a broken down man issuing commands to her. If she could just kill him and get away with it, she would’ve taken them both out of misery.

“Shut up, you old buzzard!” Myrna had jumped off her warm seat on the couch, missing a cliffhanger to fetch Paul’s spoon off the floor he’d dropped. “I’ll burn up this house and leave you here if you don’t stop messing with me.” Her lips were tight and hearing her deepened voice, Paul’s eyes bucked.

He looked to be marinating a thought. “No, you won’t, you ole crusty woman.” He then worked up a wad of spit and blinded Myrna’s right eye.

“Uggghhh!” Myrna balled her fists and threw Paul an uppercut, sending his bottom gums bumping with the top, as his teeth were soaking in a glass in the kitchen window.

She then stared at the sagging old man Paul had turned into. Couldn’t believe she’d fallen in love with him twenty years ago. Had she envisioned the scene she was in with him now, she’d have stayed single and whorish. And just that quickly, she began missing those Friday nights at Foxy’s Club, eating smoked ribs and collards in a haze of tobacco-stained teeth men who only desired a soft round bottom against their palms at the end of the night with no strings. What was in her mind that made her give away that kind of freedom? What lines had this drooping buzzard laid on her ears all those years ago to ultimately bring her life to this?