Should Jada and Will Whip Their Belt Back and Forth?

"Red Bikini" Acrylic on paper. Copyright 2014 Totsymae

“Red Bikini” Acrylic on paper. Copyright 2014 Totsymae

It’s a beautiful day to be gossip – ing

It’s a beautiful day to be gossip – ing

Would you be my

Would you be my…

You get the picture, alright? I’m stretching my talents to exhibit my vocal skills, people. I’ve enough music to publish a CD but I’m still tweaking my sound. You feel me? That chic named Yonce, Beyon or whatever she calls herself, better watch out for none other than The Bea. Work your game, girl because I’m about to twirl onto the world stage, Mrs. Carter. Therefore, let us swiftly forget about her and tune in to me, will you?

People, I have what I call a questionable and somewhat disturbing item of juice, gossip or what have you, to present. You see, I was on my way to work and got word, from a local station that is, that Willow Smith, the daughter of Will and Jada, is posting photos of concern on Instagram. Not that everybody’s not doing it already but hey, it so happens to be Willow this time. People are talking and naturally, I’m one of them.

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Willow, at 13, is lying between a man’s legs? and at the head of the bed, is a shirtless gentleman, age 20. Other than a very big smile on the face of the man, who’s said to be good friends with the Smiths, this is all we see. We could perceive it as art but it’s not in a museum or gallery, okay? It’s on a social network where ego and flesh meet. Because it’s where it is, we can assume any and everything we want.

Now, I don’t particularly care what the child posts since she’s not mine. But Jada thinks anyone who believes the photo is anything but innocent is a “covert pedophile.” Okay, Jada, I get that. But well, you weren’t in the company of your daughter and the family friend to confirm nothing took place prior to this photo. I’m just not certain when it’s ever appropriate for a child to be in bed with a 20-year old man, with what I assume, raging hormones. Jada, I’m not saying anything happened and I hope nothing did, I’m just curious as to your reply on that.

You see, Jada, when you responded to the paparazzi about the photo, I couldn’t discern if you were angry at Willow for posting it or the questions that I’m quite sure you knew would come. Based on my last documentation of Willow, she turned down the musical, Annie, because she wanted to enjoy being a kid. If you remember, Jada, Michael Jackson went to trial for being in bed with kids and we never saw photos to prove it actually happened. I mean, he said it but I’m wondering what happens to you or that man after this viral photo. Will Willow get a pass on this or what? People are very curious, particularly me, about your parenting style because I’m real sure a lot of children would love to be your child right about now.

While I could go on and on about this, I won’t. If you would though, Jada, hit the comment button to give my blogging community the scoop, which I’m all about on a 24/7 basis, okay? In the mean and tween time, I must toodle along. I’ve had a long day and while rest eludes me, beauty doesn’t, alright?

Curiously Yours,

Beatrice from Apartment 7B

Mommy Blogging

"To the Market" Acrylic on Paper. Copyright 2014 Totsymae

“To the Market” Acrylic on Paper. Copyright 2014 Totsymae

I’m  finally gonna  do some decorating around the house this year. While I’m an artist, I have no decorating skills. NONE. I’m eclectic in taste but I have no idea how to apply this to decorating an entire house. The thought of messing it all up scares me, so what have I done? Nothing. I’m somewhat of a minimalist. Overcrowding spaces make me nervous, so I’m trying to figure it all out as I move toward the empty nest.

Little Totsy will be making her way into the adult world and I’m kinda happy about that. I mean, she’s driven to be successful and has always been self-motivated. I NEVER had to ask her, “Did you do your homework?” She’s a pretty good cook and has tutored classmates in math to help them pass the course to graduate on time. Her math teacher, from China, says she wishes all of her students were like my Little Totsy. Folks, I wasn’t at all surprised she said sucha thing. And did I mention she’s been pre-selected for the Miss America Pageant? Why, she could knock Naomi Campbell, Tyra Banks and all them off the runway with her gorgeousness. She can sing, dance and act. I’m talking Oscar and Grammy material, folks. She has so many options with all her talent and whatnot but I think she’s going in the direction of nuclear science.

Anyway. I was talking about decorating. But did I tell you my son, Mr. Boy, who calls himself Masta Unk, can fix computers and never been to school for it? He can repair cars the same way. He’s so brilliant, why President Obama invited him to be a part of the space program to invent all kindsa foods folks can eat without gaining a single pound. Or get sick. I have him on Skype in his lab right now, and he’s near done with inventing a pill to keep folk alive forever. You should see him in his lab coat. He has my infectious smile…Ahhh…. Did I tell you he’s a certified chef and flies all over the world to whip up gourmet dishes? Well, I mean before he got into making this magic pill. Oh my, I should’ve brought the photo albumsssss.

But back to the decorating…I have no idea where to start.

I’m Not Saying You’re Wrong, I’m Just Right

"Nancy Grace" Watercolor on paper. Copyright 2013 Totsymae

“Nancy Grace” Watercolor on paper. Copyright 2013 Totsymae

I don’t have a need to be right about everything. It’s just that I’m not wrong about what I feel I’m right about and it’ll take a real smart type of folk to convince me otherwise. Now, I’m not gonna sit around and argue about me being right and you being wrong ’cause you’re entitled to be wrong if that makes you feel best.

You see, I’m not into arguing a point only to arrive at where we started. That’s a pure waste of your time and mine and while you may not have places to be and folk to see…Well, I may not either (talk to the hand).  I’m just not gonna sit around and try to bully you into my way of thinking, although that would be best ’cause it sure as heck’s been working for me…Most of the time…Some of the time…Well, I reckon we could both do better but seeing that I’m doing better than you, you should pay more attention to what I say, as opposed to what I do ’cause in theory, I do everything right. It’s the hands-on stuff that gets messed up but this is about you, not me, so stay focused.

The essence of what I’m getting at is just ’cause you think something, don’t mean you should believe it. Your world will be a better place once you start believing that.

Those Were the Days

"Tell Momma the Truth" Acrylic on paper. Copyright 2013 Totsymae

“Tell Momma the Truth” Acrylic on paper. Copyright 2013 Totsymae

When I was in elementary, I used to spend a good portion of my time in the principal’s office. I don’t rightly know why. I was so cute. In addition to that, when I was in primary school, teachers were allowed to spank. Thus, also, a good deal of my time was spent lying over my teacher’s lap with a paddle to my bottom or my hand burning from the sting of rulers that had been taped together. I wasn’t what you’d call a bad child. It was just that then, folk whipped us younguns for the slightest misbehavior. I always say, if you can’t be a kid getting into a little mischief, then what’s the point of being at kid at all. I had some devilish fun back then.

There used to be a game called Hide and Go Get, the dirty version of Hide and Seek. It was supposed to be that the guy who found the girl who was hiding would end up getting a kiss but me? I was never found by the guy I wanted to get the kiss from. In my hiding spot, I’d look up and some ole mojo face looking fella would find me and I’d run like the deacons so I’d not have to kiss him. As you can see, that game didn’t work out too well for me.

Another game we’d play, which did work out pretty good, was opening a big box on both ends and rolling down a hill inside of it with a fella. Ooooh, how I loved that game! Just a fresh little thing, I was. When I look back, they seem like innocent games.

My, how times have changed. Now, folk can’t spank their kids, which is probably not the worst thing. Folk spank ’cause it’s the only way they know how to discipline. I remember my great-grandmother could talk to me in the most sweetest tone and whip me with a dose of common sense that I wasn’t displaying at the time of trouble and it would make me feel worse than any whipping I could’ve gotten. I did the right thing for longer periods of time than when I got a switch laid across me. But again, I wasn’t a bad child, just a little mischievous on occasion.

And since I brought it up, do you think there’s sucha thing as bad children? If not, what do you call  them?