Ending A Relationship

“Visual Sounds No.1” Mixed Media on Paper. All Rights Reserved 2014. Totsymae.

On Tuesday of this week, my life will be different, folks. It’s gonna be intellectually stimulating with creative immersion, saving me $120.00 a month. I know. That’s a nice little chunka change. Where is that whopping sum of money coming from, you ask so curiously. Well, I’m finally boycotting cable companies. along with getting rid of my home phone. Nobody calls me on it anyhow. And there are only so many channels that can be watched. Not that I try to watch’em all. Bye-bye Ripoffcablecompanies, hello $1440 a year. That’s how much I’ll be saving.

I spent 45 minutes on the line trying to convince these folk why they were no good for me. That the relationship was over.

“I see where I can get you down to $154.00 a month for the plan you currently have,” says Ripperoffer.

“Yeah, that’s what I started off with and now I’m at $200.00. What you’re offering is temporary. I need something long term that’s gonna benefit me.”

“What channels do you watch now?” probes Ripperoffer.

“I watch Bravo, OWN…I watch’em all.”

“Do you watch sports channels?”

“No.”

“One moment, as I look in my system.”

Honey please, look right on.

“Will $150.00 work for you? What’s comfortable for you?”

“Look, there’s no promotion you can give me long enough or steep enough to retain my services.”

“Oh, so you’re looking for a permanent promotion?” Ripperoffer chuckled.

“Yes,” I said, with a didn’t you know kinda tone.

“Well, we can offer you DirecTV.”

“Yeah. I had them before and they go up after the promotion. Look, I’ll give up TV before I continue paying these prices.”

That brought an end to Ripperoffer trying to swindle me. Now, I realize there’ll be some withdrawal symptoms. Maybe I’ll resort to scratching my belly or walking in circles until I get back to that place I used to be of not watching television. Maybe I’ll get smarter by reading relevant books, writing a Scandal-like TV show, run a tortoise marathon or sail the Pacific on a self-made boat. The possibilities are endless, folks.

What have you gotten rid of that bettered your life and whatnot?