Chicken Noodle Soup for Women

Digital Art / Copyright 2013 Totsymae

• Wear clothing that’s appropriate for your body type. Don’t trust yourself to pick out anything with the assurance that you’ll look good in it. You are not beyond help. Understand that there’s a support group for badly dressed women folk.
• Don’t be desperate for anything, especially a man. They are a dime a dozen, honey. Though, if desperation is part of your lifestyle, go to a foreign country to  get one. It’s no different from adopting a child overseas. If you can’t afford to go, know that the universe is telling you to be alone right now. Be your own best company and have wine with yourself. If you ain’t all that bad, you’ll enjoy your company.
• Stop talking so much. You don’t need to tell everybody everything. Women who talk too much generally have hemorrhoids and no real friends to speak of. They are also judgmental, demanding and high maintenance.
• Stop joining up with these feminists. They don’t shave their underarms and look like they’ve been sucking rocks when they get up in age. Preserve yourself for a good cause. Be a humanist.
• Don’t be so quick to say ‘I don’t get along with women folk.’ The reason you feel this is so is ’cause you’re typically a trouble-maker and think everybody else is the problem. Every woman ain’t the same, unless they’re feminists, who are, by the way, cliquish and had to find their identity in books authored by folk they don’t know personally. Understand that if your slogan is that you can’t get along with other women folk, you got problems you refuse to recognize about yourself.