9 Rules on How to be Fabulous in 2014

“Mixed Ancestry” Fiber Art. Copyright 2013 Totsymae

1. Carry breath mints.

2. Produce more than you consume.

3. Never go for seconds at the dinner table. The food will be there tomorrow. In other words, refer back to rule number 2.

4. Listen more. Talk less. Stock up with superglue, if needed. (Masking tape will work also but it may cause public humiliation.)

5. Get over what it is you’re not over. Staying where you are stunts your growth and eventually folk will not wanna be bothered with you.

6. Wear clothing fit for your body type, sex and age, not somebody else’s. Transvestites are exempt, however.

7. Mind your business.

8. Limit Facebook statuses. Nobody cares as much as you do anyhow.

9. Stop pretending. However, if you’re faking it ’til you make it and haven’t made it yet, cry yourself to sleep at night and start putting a Plan B or C in place.